On Wednesday, we took an Implicit Association test (IAT) in class. I won't go into detail regarding the politics behind the test and the purpose it is intended to serve (if any) since we did all read the same disclaimer prior to starting it. However, I will discuss my results with you all as well as my feelings towards them.
For starters, I took two tests, the first being the 'RACE IAT'. My results indicated that I have a moderate preference to white people over that of black people. I found this interesting for a number of reasons.
For one, when I was younger, I had always felt more comfortable in the presence of white strangers than that of black strangers. For example, I was raised in Plantation, FL in a rather middle-class, predominately white, suburban area. As ironic as it sounds, I did feel comfortable being one of the three black families in my neighborhood living in a city called "Plantation" of all things, where the high school mascot for 'Plantaton High ' was none other than a colonel. So if ever I went to stay in North Miami on the weekends with my cousins and aunts, or in NY with my brothers, and if dragged to any local functions- I always looked for a white face, usually an adult, that if anything- would be my outlet for help if I felt I needed to seek any.
I realize now that the reason behind this may have been more or less "black and white" than it was a "social-class" thing. I lived in what most would call a "good neighborhood" while growing up, and it just so happens that the faces that comprised of it were white. For heaven's sake, we had a neighborhood crime watch- of course I felt protected. Thus, for years, unless it were faces that I new and trusted, I felt more comfortable around the company of white people than that of most blacks.
However, as I got older, I quickly began to wean off the company of my close family when going to visit areas "foreign to me" and made friends of my own who were mainly blacks of all nationalities. Not to mention, the mother of my best friend "Nina" had brought a new boyfriend home who told Nina that he preferred her and I not be friends because I was black. We were 9 years old then, and she came up to me at school and told me Harvey was an "a-hole" and that she was upset because she felt pressured to cancel my trip to her house for the weekend. Although Nina's mother and mine had discussed the issue and issued us both an "apology" to what was deemed to be "a misunderstanding", the tension still existed between us nonetheless as we were both very aware of how different we in fact were.
By the time I was a pre-teen, I had made friends with the neighborhood girls uptown and in Washington Heights after frequent trips to visit family in NY annually. I definitely had grown to be a regular in the North Miami area and acquired a taste for the lifestyles of my cousins and the girls around me- who just so happened to either be black (of Hispanic or non-Hispanic descent) or "white" of Hispanic descent. I realized I much rather enjoyed the security of "blending" in to the neighborhood rather than sticking out. And that this alone would allow me to not be anymore victim than any other person the same shade as myself (as far as being ostracized as a result of my race.)
Basically, I do feel the test provided some accuracy to feelings that I harboured in myself when I was much younger, but perhaps subconsciously those same feelings reside in me today. In reality though, I do often find myself in the company of many black people more often than that of non-blacks. And although I feel no type of way in regards to others dating inter-racially, I myself have yet to successfully do so without a bit of discomfort on my end. So with that said, I am unsure what my results really had to say about who I am now- but I do the test did not offend me or impact me one bit.
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